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3 Tips to Overcome Comparison

This is for my fellow photographers, to my friends, to my couples, to anyone under the sun that struggles with comparison. And let’s be real, everyone can identify with this. Especially when we feel like we got the short end of the stick.

Comparison can take you from a beautiful mountain top moment and bring you into a valley that you didn’t even know existed. It can suck the life out of you. And that’s okay, but you don’t have to stay there. You can choose every day, to take one small baby step forward; to create healthy boundaries to become the best you possible.

If I’m honest, I compare myself to others more often than I’d like to admit. With the never-ending scrolling of social media, it’s impossible to not look at other’s lives and feel like you aren’t good enough, especially in photography. But it doesn’t just go for photographers, it applies to the bride planning her wedding and wanting it to be Pinterest perfect, it applies to the single person wanting to have the fairytale love story, it applies to the mom of four wanting a spotless house, dinner on the table, and kids bathed all by 6pm. No one is left out of the comparison game.

 I recently read a book called The Comparison Trap by Sandra Stanley. It really opened my eyes to how often I compare myself to others; other’s homes, lives, jobs, instagrams, businesses, vacations, the list goes on and on. But I’m noticing that if I can identify WHEN I’m comparing myself to others, I can actively take steps to overcome that feeling. Along the way, I’ve found a few tips to help fight jealousy within comparison. I hope they’re helpful to you and I encourage you to experiment in finding a combination of strategies that work for you. 

Suzy Goodrick Photography on Social Media

1. Cut Down on Social Media

In my opinion, social media is one of the biggest culprits to comparing ourselves to others. We scroll and see highlight reels, the perfect parts of someone else’s day, while we never left our PJ’s. I see other photographer’s traveling and shooting in Yosemite and think, “Of course if I lived there I’d be a better photographer!” But that isn’t true, I can be a great photographer right here.
Bloom where you’re planted, right?

In moments or seasons where I’m feeling the weight to be “perfect” online, I try to take a break from it. Sometimes it’s for a day, sometimes it’s for longer. Sometimes I delete the facebook app from my phone and only log in on a laptop. I think it’s important to identify why or who you struggle with on social media. Maybe it means unfollowing someone or intentionally taking a short break. It’s amazing what a day off from the online world can do for your soul.

*I also want to add, if there’s someone specific you’re struggling with on this topic, I encourage you to dig deep and find out why. It may be an insecurity or fear; find someone you trust and talk it out. Gossiping isn’t the answer, but asking yourself some tough questions can shed light into why you may feel a certain way.

Eunice Beck Photo

Photo by Natalie Allen, from the Wild Sisterhood Retreat (@mariah.grimes)

2. Boundaries and Self Care

For me, comparison often happens when I’m feeling insecure or unsure of myself; when my week is crazy and I haven’t had any time to myself, it’s SO easy to get jealous of someone else.

When was the last time you didn’t feel overworked, stressed out, or too “busy?” Our schedules are so often full to the brim of things that we may not even like doing. If I’m transparent, this week was the first time in months that I felt any sort of balance. It doesn’t mean life is perfect, but I finally felt comfortable in my own skin again. And you know what made the difference? After weeks of moving, painting, cleaning, unpacking, and decorating, our new home is finally unpacked and I was able to get back to my “routine.” This week I’m back to my regular workouts, had a life-giving coffee date with a friend, and adventured to Northern Arizona. All things I enjoy doing. I definitely understand that we have to do things in life we don’t necessarily like doing, adulting sucks sometimes, but when we make room in our lives for taking care of ourselves and doing things that bring us joy, our perspective on life will shift.

I believe having healthy boundaries and taking care of yourself will allow you the freedom to know who you are and minimize the need to compare. So it starts with figuring out what or who you need. Do you feel happier when you practice yoga a few times a week, or have coffee with friends, or go adventuring through the mountains? Getting a massage or taking a bubble bath? Going for a walk every evening? What makes you come alive? GO DO THAT.

The Paseo Wedding Photographers

3.  Find Your Tribe

I find that when I have my people, my group of women who truly know me and cheer me on, I feel more confident in myself. These are women who are kickin’ butt at being girl bosses, who understand the weight of having a business, being a wife, and the billion other things that life brings. They know my sassy spirit and welcoming vibe. They see the best in me and cheer me on, all the time.
And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

It takes time to find your tribe. Some women have a yoga group and those are their people. Some women have other moms. Some women have coworkers. I know it doesn’t happen overnight and there are risks involved, we have to be vulnerable to have that deep trust with our friends, but it’s 10000% worth it. Because in moments of weakness or insecurity, they’re the people who will remind you of who you are.

I truly want our generation and our culture to be a game changer. I want to build a culture that pushes us (especially women) to be gracious and accepting of one another, instead of catty and jealous. It will take a generation of women fighting comparison, but we can start small. We can start with ourselves, to be kind and gracious to our own hearts so that we can then do the same to others.

I hope you find these tips helpful, I’d love to hear from you and how you’re finding your true self and leaving behind the life of comparison.

 

If you enjoyed this post, you may also like 3 Ways to Beat the Heat for an Engagement Session.

3 Tips to Overcome Comparison

This is for my fellow photographers, to my friends, to my couples, to anyone under the sun that struggles with comparison. And let’s be real, everyone can identify with this. Especially when we feel like we got the short end of the stick.

Comparison can take you from a beautiful mountain top moment and bring you into a valley that you didn’t even know existed. It can suck the life out of you. And that’s okay, but you don’t have to stay there. You can choose every day, to take one small baby step forward; to create healthy boundaries to become the best you possible.

If I’m honest, I compare myself to others more often than I’d like to admit. With the never-ending scrolling of social media, it’s impossible to not look at other’s lives and feel like you aren’t good enough, especially in photography. But it doesn’t just go for photographers, it applies to the bride planning her wedding and wanting it to be Pinterest perfect, it applies to the single person wanting to have the fairytale love story, it applies to the mom of four wanting a spotless house, dinner on the table, and kids bathed all by 6pm. No one is left out of the comparison game.

 I recently read a book called The Comparison Trap by Sandra Stanley. It really opened my eyes to how often I compare myself to others; other’s homes, lives, jobs, instagrams, businesses, vacations, the list goes on and on. But I’m noticing that if I can identify WHEN I’m comparing myself to others, I can actively take steps to overcome that feeling. Along the way, I’ve found a few tips to help fight jealousy within comparison. I hope they’re helpful to you and I encourage you to experiment in finding a combination of strategies that work for you. 

Suzy Goodrick Photography on Social Media

1. Cut Down on Social Media

In my opinion, social media is one of the biggest culprits to comparing ourselves to others. We scroll and see highlight reels, the perfect parts of someone else’s day, while we never left our PJ’s. I see other photographer’s traveling and shooting in Yosemite and think, “Of course if I lived there I’d be a better photographer!” But that isn’t true, I can be a great photographer right here.
Bloom where you’re planted, right?

In moments or seasons where I’m feeling the weight to be “perfect” online, I try to take a break from it. Sometimes it’s for a day, sometimes it’s for longer. Sometimes I delete the facebook app from my phone and only log in on a laptop. I think it’s important to identify why or who you struggle with on social media. Maybe it means unfollowing someone or intentionally taking a short break. It’s amazing what a day off from the online world can do for your soul.

*I also want to add, if there’s someone specific you’re struggling with on this topic, I encourage you to dig deep and find out why. It may be an insecurity or fear; find someone you trust and talk it out. Gossiping isn’t the answer, but asking yourself some tough questions can shed light into why you may feel a certain way.

Eunice Beck Photo

Photo by Natalie Allen, from the Wild Sisterhood Retreat (@mariah.grimes)

2. Boundaries and Self Care

For me, comparison often happens when I’m feeling insecure or unsure of myself; when my week is crazy and I haven’t had any time to myself, it’s SO easy to get jealous of someone else.

When was the last time you didn’t feel overworked, stressed out, or too “busy?” Our schedules are so often full to the brim of things that we may not even like doing. If I’m transparent, this week was the first time in months that I felt any sort of balance. It doesn’t mean life is perfect, but I finally felt comfortable in my own skin again. And you know what made the difference? After weeks of moving, painting, cleaning, unpacking, and decorating, our new home is finally unpacked and I was able to get back to my “routine.” This week I’m back to my regular workouts, had a life-giving coffee date with a friend, and adventured to Northern Arizona. All things I enjoy doing. I definitely understand that we have to do things in life we don’t necessarily like doing, adulting sucks sometimes, but when we make room in our lives for taking care of ourselves and doing things that bring us joy, our perspective on life will shift.

I believe having healthy boundaries and taking care of yourself will allow you the freedom to know who you are and minimize the need to compare. So it starts with figuring out what or who you need. Do you feel happier when you practice yoga a few times a week, or have coffee with friends, or go adventuring through the mountains? Getting a massage or taking a bubble bath? Going for a walk every evening? What makes you come alive? GO DO THAT.

The Paseo Wedding Photographers

3.  Find Your Tribe

I find that when I have my people, my group of women who truly know me and cheer me on, I feel more confident in myself. These are women who are kickin’ butt at being girl bosses, who understand the weight of having a business, being a wife, and the billion other things that life brings. They know my sassy spirit and welcoming vibe. They see the best in me and cheer me on, all the time.
And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

It takes time to find your tribe. Some women have a yoga group and those are their people. Some women have other moms. Some women have coworkers. I know it doesn’t happen overnight and there are risks involved, we have to be vulnerable to have that deep trust with our friends, but it’s 10000% worth it. Because in moments of weakness or insecurity, they’re the people who will remind you of who you are.

I truly want our generation and our culture to be a game changer. I want to build a culture that pushes us (especially women) to be gracious and accepting of one another, instead of catty and jealous. It will take a generation of women fighting comparison, but we can start small. We can start with ourselves, to be kind and gracious to our own hearts so that we can then do the same to others.

I hope you find these tips helpful, I’d love to hear from you and how you’re finding your true self and leaving behind the life of comparison.

 

If you enjoyed this post, you may also like 3 Ways to Beat the Heat for an Engagement Session.

3 Tips to Overcome Comparison

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